some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
