he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
