This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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