i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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