ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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