I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There's always time for handjobs
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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