There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
