lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
