Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
