Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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