you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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