I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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