I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
