I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
