why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
