i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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