3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
