So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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