you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
