I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
