I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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