I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
