I wish I could teleport
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize