She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize