I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This girl is more easily done than said...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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