better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
