Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
