Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
