420 ftw
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
