only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
