Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
