Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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