No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
