I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
