I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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