i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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