My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so let's talk penis.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize