it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
