Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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