we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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