guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
