So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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