nut hugger
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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