Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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