I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize