what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
