What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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