I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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