Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
