dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
