where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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