Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
