Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
