I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
