why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
