i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
