If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
