well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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