Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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