thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
