I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
