I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
