Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
